the mario blog

Ok, this is my second bad flight experience in just a couple of weeks. Last week I was unhappy because Horizon Air ran out of beer on my flight from Portland to Santa Barbara.

This week, I am writing because I got stuck at the Philly airport for ten hours - thanks to the friendly folks at US Airways. Horizon’s Ginger Ale doesn’t sound so bad after all.

Here’s what happened.

After three days of late-nights, little sleep, flights across the country, preparing, scrambling and then delivering a major presentation; I was ready to head back to the West Coast for a weekend of sunshine and a wedding in Las Vegas. So after checking my bags and getting checked at security, I sat down at the gate, Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich in-hand, to relax for a couple of hours prior to my 6pm flight. Just as I took the last bite out of my sandwich, my flight departure got pushed to 8pm. Two hours of relaxation turned into four.

Then we boarded. Then we de-boarded an hour later because the intercom between the pilot’s cabin and the main cabin didn’t work so well. In the process of such, the guy next to me got picked up by airport security as he decided to de-board the plane rather quickly and ran over a flight attendant. Then the flight crew timed out and went home. So we had to wait another five hours before boarding the plane again.

I guess US Airways did what they could do. At some point, they even gave us $10 food vouchers to feed us while waiting. The only problem was that by the the time they finally decided to give out food vouchers, all stores and restaurants were closed. What a cost-savings initiative. Give people vouchers they can’t redeem.

We finally left the airport at 1am.

I want to take a moment to thank my “almost” seatmate, who’s arrest (or ban) allowed me to stretch out and sleep the whole way back to Vegas.

It’s 11:30pm and I am about to lay my head to rest on a soft pillow here at a fine Holiday Inn in Pittsburgh. We had a great first day on our book tour with two book signings and some important consignment deals. I am a little bummed that I am flying back tomorrow, which has created a rather hectic schedule for me.

Sunday
6:30am: Leave Portland
5pm: Land in Cleveland
6pm: Arrive at Patrick’s House
Note: Don’t leave on a business trip at 6am on a Sunday morning.

Monday
7am: Go on Run
9am: Book signing at Cleveland bakery
3pm: Book signing at Youngstown grocery store
9pm: Arrive at Holiday Inn
11:30pm: Bedtime
Note: Three meals of pasta and Italian sandwiches can’t be healthy.

Tuesday
4:30am: Wake up and go to gym
5:45am: Leave hotel and start five hour drive to Philadelphia
noon: Book signing in Philadelphia
5pm: Fly home
11pm: Arrive in Portland
Note: Fifteen hours of combined car and air travel is too much for a Tuesday.

Oddly enough, this blog entry is written while driving in a Ford Expedition from the Cleveland airport to Patrick’s parents’ house. This is made possible through of these "always on" wireless cards provided by a communications company I’d never endorse or promote. After a mildly relaxing week in Portland, I am back on the road. This time it’s for a week-long media tour on the East Coast (Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, New York City, Boston) to promote a book called Feast of the Seven Fishes. Follow our tour at the Feast of the Seven Fishes Blog. If you know anyone who considers him- or herself Italian, who enjoys reading comics and loves food and fish; then this holiday book is one you got to consider.

I’ve got a web video shoot in Portland on Wednesday, so this will be a short trip for me. Having traveled from dusk to dawn today, here are two things I learned:

• One of the flight attendants took a vote on what movie to watch on the flight. Unfortunately all four movies received about equal votes, so about 75% of passengers were disappointed even before we learned there were no peanuts. I wasn’t that mad, as I was sound asleep before takeoff. Sometimes choice isn’t good.

• On the flip side, I wish I had a choice when it came to my choices of flight today. Starting a business trip on 6am on Sunday morning isn’t very cool. Choice would have been nice in this case.

Buon Natale.

 

A few weeks ago, Jen and I spent a weekend on a ranch. She had asked me to teach her how to ride horses, brand calves and hunt mountain lions. We did ride horses. More pictures upon clicking on the picture.

After ten days of hiking, slipping, camping, showering under waterfalls and living on a banana farm; I am back from the wild. My trip to the Kalalau valley gave me some much-needed perspective what matters, what doesn’t matter and then some. Here are some of the then somes:

• Living on a banana farm with Jen’s uncle Joe and a guy named Pirate has given me new found appreciation for the finer things in life, most notably Coors Light.
• A Mac-N-Cheese-Spam dinner with a guy named Bill (a stone mason who lives and works on the Kalalau trail - without being paid) was the last meal I will ever eat containing spam.
• When camping in the place where they filmed Jurassic Park, you should wear mosquito repellent (Mario…nope) and filter your water (Patrick…nope).
• Hiking on top of 3000ft cliffs for a week, I got to see a lot of wild goats. They like heights. I don’t.
• We survived a heck of storm on top of one of those enormous cliffs. You won’t ever see me not finish my plate again.
• I read five books and 1500+ pages during my trip. Walden was the best. It made me want to garden. And buy one of those cool new Amazon Kindles.

I uploaded 400+ pictures to my Flickr account. Here is one of my favorites. Sunsets Footsteps. Click below to get to the rest.

 

On Saturday, Jen and I went to the University of Montana Homecoming Football game. Well, we were going to go to the University of Montana Homecoming Football game. That was before Jen lost our tickets on the way to the business school tailgate party.

I am not sure who ended up sitting next to the business school dean and his wife, but it wasn’t us.

To Jen’s credit, she immediately conquered to buy two new tickets, which were in the North End Zone, next to some guy named Dave and his wife Becky. Dave was the ultimate griz fan from Lincoln Montana, who knew everybody and made sure nobody had to go for too long without sipping on his peppermint schnaps filled flask.

 

Going back to Montana is always a very special occasion for me. Considering I only spent one fifth of my time in Big Sky Country, the impact it has had on my life is much more significant. Most of that is thanks to the people who live in Montana, many of who made this trip so remarkable.

- Thank you Vick and Jean for letting us stay at your place and for being such wonderful hosts.

- Thank you Jakki and MaryEllen for continuing to let me speak to your classes.

- Thank you Dean Larry for getting us those Football tickets that Jen lost.

- Thank you John and Diane for letting us stay on the ol’ Sleeping Child Ranch.

- Thank you Rob and Katie for filling us in on the brawl with the county commissioner’s husband in the bathroom of a casino.

- Thank you Scott for what I am not allowed to thank you for.

- Thank you Darby for the pizza and for reminding me that somewhere someone is enjoying a beet pickled egg right now.

 

On Friday, Jen and I went to see Elton John at the Adams Center in Missoula. Before I babble on any further, let me just tell you that Elton John is someone who I consider to be an absolute superstar. Seeing him live in Missoula, Montana was a rather surreal experience.

A few things to note about the concert:

Elton John played for 2 1/2 hours straight. No breaks, just occasional gulps of hydration. If anyone left the concert unsatisfied, then it’s because they were stupid. Including the lady I had to sit next to at the Staggering Ox.  I mean, come on, how often do you get to see a 60-yr old knight rock out for that long.

Jen immediately offended all the senior citizens who were sitting around us. She was trying to tell me that this probably one of Elton’s last shows, as he’s just getting really old. Turns out being 60 wouldn’t be half bad for the crowd of elderly surrounding us. 

Nice Jen.

 

On Sunday, before flying back to Portland, my buddy Ben (the guy with the carpet on his chest…and back) took us out to go wakeboarding on Chatfield Reservoir near Denver.  I am happy to report that I drank the most water that day. My hair loss has also progressed to the point where I need to worry about putting sunscreen on my scalp. Great. Here are a bunch of pics for you to look at.

Better late than never, here are some pictures from Joe’s wedding. Happy to report that I wasn’t the oddest looking guy at the wedding. Beat by one. My buddy Joe met this local guy in a bar the evening before, and decided to invite him to his wedding. Him and his magnum 45. No joke.